im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize