Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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