Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
