??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
