She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
