we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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