I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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