Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
