You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
