Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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