she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
