I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
