No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
