my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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