She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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