I hate your face
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize