i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
