that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
