Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
