I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
