Is it because I queefed?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i drank out of a bidet.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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