I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
