how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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