after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
