Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize