There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i think i just lost a toe
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
