I'm going to jail i love you
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
