let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
