I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
