We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize