Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
