And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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