I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
