Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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