Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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