yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
