she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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