Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
