I want to stick my p in your. b.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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