Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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