No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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