Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
