Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
