D3 body, D1 cock
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
