Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
