so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
