Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize