Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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