That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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