Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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