i think my mom watched the whole time
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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