just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
