What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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