new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
