32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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