Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
