you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
