I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
