We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
