this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
