hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
