Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
