I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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