i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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