She said her name was "party"
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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