she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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