I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
